For the first time in the history of Yeshiva University, a female infiltrated the hallowed halls of the 470-seat, two-story Jacob and Dreizel Glueck Beit Midrash, while in session. After being informed of the infiltrator, detectives from Wilf Campus Security identified the intruder as Margot Reinstein, President of the Torah Activities Council of Stern College.
Because the perpetrator wore a black mask during her surreptitious mission, lasting 46.03 seconds, she was identified only after detectives analyzed fingerprints of all registered SCW students. Reinstein’s fingerprints were eventually matched to those found on the wall.
“YU is going to pay for this!” screamed Reinstein, as she was dragged away by a heavily armed swat team of around twenty personnel. Tipped off immediately of the unprecedented incident, a friend photographed the scene before escaping seconds later. The photographer has not been heard from since.
The crime left many of the YC students traumatized, particularly certain YP individuals, who hadn’t looked up from their Gemaras since swearing off girls during their year in Israel. Many have had to go into intensive therapy to deal with the post-traumatic symptoms. Said one particularly affected YP student, Sordechai Mith, who has a strict policy against engaging with the opposite gender, “Recovering from seeing a girl has been hard. And, this wasn’t just a girl in the Height’s Lounge, which is disturbing enough to ruin anyone’s day. This was a girl in the Beis. It’s going to take me and other like-minded males a while to recover from this unexpected breach of code.”
There are, however, mixed reports regarding what exactly occurred on that fateful evening. When students realized a female had stepped 10 feet into Glueck in the never-before-seen stunt, an anonymous insider reported that “Shraga guys cheered, Gush guys offered her a seat, and KBY guys ran for the exits.”
When asked how it felt to perform such a dare-devilish feat, Reinstein responded, “We will take the Beit Midrash over yet!” before being smuggled into a cellar for further…intervention.
With the aid of the high-powered binoculars she brought with her in an inconspicuous black clutch, Reinstein reported YC students were learning “Mostly bava basra.” She reported back to TAC through a one-line telegram sent in Morse code. Rumor has it that TAC sponsored this high-risk mission.
Several members of the Mussad have been recruited to ensure that an event of such magnitude never happens again.