By Esther Wolf
Editor’s Note: Each month, the Writers’ Guild accepts submissions for a short story following a specific theme. February’s theme was “Full Circle Dialogue” featuring stories that start and end with the same quote. Members voted on a short story to be featured in the YU Observer. For the month of February, “Still Seen in the Mirror” written by Esther Wolf was selected.
“I wish you could stay here forever…” Wren cringed, hearing those words ring through the door in front of him. Eris might have been on the phone inside, or watching a movie. Either way, he had to get over himself and apologize.
If there was an award for inflicting the most pain and inconvenience in the shortest amount of time, it was certain he would have won it. He’d have to take that reward home and display it on the wall– unable to hide it for the indefinite future considering how badly he’d screwed up.
He crashed the car, and put his sister in the hospital for a week. The two in the other car were dead. The other two drivers were under the influence, flying into their car with him behind the wheel, and Eris up front. Not his fault, no. But he drove their own car into a pole trying to get away. Eris was hurt because of that, not the two idiots who–
Calm down. You’re not helping anything by acting like a damn victim.
They were drunk– their words were probably slurred as they drove, their breath foul from all that drinking until they quit breathing and speaking for good. Not his fault, no.
He took a deep breath, knocking on Eris’s door. He hadn’t been able to see her while she was in the hospital. They treated a bleeding bruise on her forehead, and her ruined shoulder which took in an unfortunate amount of broken glass.
Now she was home.
“Come in, ma!” He heard her call through the door.
He cringed, opening the door. “It’s me, Mom’s downstairs.” His voice was hoarse, he found himself leaning against the door, half expecting to be sent back through it. “I’m so sorry… I don’t know how this happened…”
Eris sat upright, rubbing her eyes. She looked dazed, which made sense. They probably gave her some pretty strong painkillers. “Wren?”
“How are you feeling?” He asked, still waiting on that angered shrill that would surely follow that particular question. How could you do this? Do you know how much pain I’m in? How come you’re okay and I’m all cut up?
Instead she croaked, “You’re here? Mom said they killed you!”
His brow raised, stepping forward tentatively. “I bet Mom wanted to, after everything. Aren’t you angry… to me? I ruined everything…” He rubbed his temples, leaning on the wall now.
Eris pulled herself up further, her arm held in a sling, bandages peeking out on her shoulder from under her T-Shirt. On her neck too? I could have killed her…
“What are you going on about? I thought you died for God’s sake!” She sniffled, reaching out, smacking his shoulder. “I thought I was going to be alone with Mom… you can’t just do that.”
“You’re not angry?” He managed, eyes widening.
“At you? Why in hell would I be mad at you?” She scoffed. “It was those drivers! They smashed into us. I’m glad they didn’t make it out.” Her fingers curled into the sheets on her bed, every breath from her shallow and harsh.
Wren cringed. “Don’t say that…” He nodded to her water bottle which sat on her nightstand. “Drink something… you’re heaving.”
She scowled but took a sip. “I am mad at you a little bit… You were in this mess with me and you didn’t say anything when I was in the hospital.” She rubbed her eyes, scrubbing a hand down her face. “And wasn’t your face all bloody before?”
In the car, before she passed out… He touched his forehead tentatively. “I washed my face. The band-aid is right here. I’m sorry I didn’t stop by… Mom was there… She was so angry. I didn’t want to make things worse.”
Eris scoffed. “Of course she did. She kept on saying they killed you. They– as if she could just displace how she talks about you. She can’t keep talking like that!” Her breath hitching, tears brimming her eyes.
“Breathe… I’m okay. She only dislikes me because she thinks I’m trying to pull you away from her. You’re still the princess, remember?” A wan smile tugged at his lips. “I bet she thought that crash was another pull…”
Sneering, Eris fell back on the bed, her good hand adjusting the sling. “Because you got me out of the house, kept me away while she was drunk too. You didn’t pull me away from her– she did all that herself! You’re a better mother than she ever was.”
“She’s trying now, Eri.” He sighed. “She’s doing all she can to get you that medicine to help the… mood thing, right?”
“Yeah– disorganized speech. She’s only saying I make no sense because she doesn’t want to hear me talk.”
Talking about this isn’t going to help much… “What were you watching?”
Eris glanced at her laptop. “A video on something called Chlorpromazine– I think that’s how you say it? It’s a medicine mom wants me to take.”
“Chlorpromazine? An antipsychotic? What do you need that for?” This time he was scoffing.
She shrugged… “The doctor told her it would help.”
“Help what, your mood? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”
“They said I’ve been acting weird…”
He gestured to her sling. “You were just in a car crash– they expect you to be what? Happy? Running around and singing.”
Eris snickered. “That would be weirder.”
“I’ll bet.” Wren rolled his eyes. “You don’t need that, do you? Can’t mom find a different medicine? If you take medicine for something you don’t have– it’ll just give you whatever it is. Isn’t that how it works?”
She shut her laptop, shoving it away. “I can’t be trusting mom, I know that… I just want to feel better.”
He found himself smiling bitterly. “When your arm heals up, I’m sure that will kickstart things…”
The door banged open once again, Mother standing in the doorway. She was alert, looking around. “Eris, dinner is ready. Get up and come downstairs.” Wren huffed, catching the side of the door before it whacked him in the face.
“Mom!” Eris cried out. “What the hell was that? Will you ever get tired of slamming doors in his face?!”
Mother pinched the bridge of her nose, glaring at him. “Well tell Wren I’m sorry. For heaven’s sake, did you take your medicine?”
His expression soured. She’s all condescending now, treating her like she’s so fragile– yet still manages to sound cruel about it all. Of course that would be the only balance in her life she works to maintain.
“I’ll take it before I go to bed, alright?” Eris shifted, sitting up and adjusting her sling. Mother helped her stand, steadying her as her legs buckled a bit.
His eyes narrowed, noting Mother’s nails digging into her wrist. Again– she was trying hard to keep her grip gentle, but unable to fully relax. Her other hand was raised, covering her mouth. She averted her eyes, her expression a bit dazed. And covering her mouth? She’d been drinking again.
Her daughter just got out of the hospital, and she was drinking. Eris noticed all the signs he did, tugging her arm back and walked toward the stairs on her own. He pushed past Mother, walking behind Eris. He gritted his teeth, looking at the stairs as Eris hobbled over them.
At the table, Eris didn’t talk much. Neither did Mother, and neither did he. Eris frowned when Mother set out a couple plates, yet neglected to put one out for him.
“Are you just going to ignore him forever?” Eris huffed, as he went around the table to get a plate from one of the cabinets.
Mother groaned. “Eris, I miss him too, but lying like this isn’t going to change anything!”
Missed me? Please. You’ve wanted me gone since the day I was born.
“Lying?!” Eris scoffed. “Turn around! See your kid and acknowledge that whatever you hate so much about him– he still raised me better than you did!” Her voice rose, eyes narrowing. Those tears gathered in the corners of her eyes once again.
“It’s fine, Eris. Just drop it—” He began, but was disrupted as Mother shot up, slamming her hands on the table.
“He’s dead! He died when the car was totaled! You barely survived! I’m sorry that you lost your brother, but I also lost my son– and you being sick and picturing him all over the place won’t bring him back!”
Eris blanched, recoiling. Mother stood, grabbing her phone. “The doctor told me to put a camera in your room. He said that we could capture your episodes. He said maybe you see what was actually happening.” Her voice was trembling as well as her hands as she tried to navigate her phone– to where she put a camera in her daughter’s room.
Before Eris could bite back, Mother dropped the phone on the table, and Eris froze.
On the recording, playing back the past hour, Eris’s laptop was off her phone tucked away in her bedside table. She was talking to the wall– to the door where her brother wasn’t actually standing.
Eris was very still, her hands came up and rubbed her eyes. It seemed then that her vision cleared up. Mother was right. Mother had been right. They had killed him. Her brother who had played parent all these years was dead. When she managed to speak, her voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry, Ma… I’ll take the medicine.”
The anger in Mother’s expression was leached, and she just looked tired. “It’s okay, honey. We’re both struggling. I’ll try… to be better.”
She looked up at the ceiling, adjusting her sling. I wish you could stay here forever.
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